Just For Tonight

She’s only tiny, she’s quiet, she never says much, she just rests her head on my shoulders and wraps her arms around me.
I safely secure her in my arms, kiss her forehead and pull her in closer.
The emotion flows through our bodies; we can see it in each other’s eyes. We don’t need to say anything, we both know its there.
We know that after this night I’ll be leaving, on my long journey home.
We always knew it was coming; this time together was never for forever.
I whisper in her ear:

“Be mine, just for tonight. I’ll momentarily be the gentleman that walks you home,
Just for tonight, let me kiss you, let me hold you, let me be the one you turn to, let me be the one that makes you smile.
Tonight is all we have, lets not waste it.
Tomorrow you will awaken, and I’ll again be half a world away.
Counting down the days until I can say those words again
Just for tonight…”

I hold her face gently, with my other hand on her lower back as I softly kiss her and pull her in again for another soft embrace. It’s not perfect, it’s not much… but it’s enough. Just for tonight…

Fine lines...

Do you often find yourself treading on a fine line? On one side you know everything that can happen. You know that the only pain you feel happens initially as you cross the line in defeat. The other is the unknown side, which you know very well can, and often will end in heartbreak or disaster. 
It's the line between reality and chasing a dream; circling the mouth of what seems a bottomless pit. We step one way we are safe and stable ground… and the other, endless falling…not knowing when we will hit the bottom.

You find yourself making brainless decisions, falling in love to quickly, talking before you think. Pay no heed to the old cliché "look before you leap".

More often then not we disregard the opinion and advice of outsiders, and fall onto the unknown side of the line; and even though we know exactly what will happen as soon as we take that step, we continue down that trail of terror. 

Why? Why do we open ourselves up to anguish and misery; fighting for something that is never meant to be ours? It's like we label our hearts, "Insert knife and twist" and throw it out on a cold lonely street waiting for it to be stolen or crucified. Then wonder why we feel so fucking depressed. People say "Maybe you want to feel like this, maybe you like the pain". Why would anybody want to feel like this? What's to like about pain? It's brought nothing more than tears and heartbreak to the world. To feel like there is absolutely nothing in the world you want to live for, when everyday is just another breakdown, just one more Fucking nightmare after another. When the only smile you show is one in disarray of how fucked up your life has become… Hiding scars, hiding your twisted thoughts, trying to hide from memories that only make you cry. Lonely… cold… insecure… scared… helpless... lost. You find me someone who wants to feel like that…