Giddy

Got me giddy like a schoolboy swapping love notes on the playground,

Running after girls, kiss chasy til we fall down.

A million girls running through this playground we call life,

On a roundabout we get so dizzy trying to pick our side.

Boys, chasing girls, chasing boys it's all the same, 

boys chasing boys, makes the girls go insane. 

Only one set of eyes for me I want to see, 

but I know she sees through when she's staring back at me. 

Teacher rings the bell, get you butt back to classes,

Don't you see girl to have you I would walk through flames and ashes!  

Walk you home, keep you safe, just give me a chance,

Cos I wanna burn the floor with you at the life school dance.

La Petite Mort - Version 2, only 7 years in the making

I'm pushed against the wall, you pull yourself onto me
Biting my lip and tasting my tongue, I grow weak at the knees

Kick your heels to the floor, I slide my hand up your thighs.
Hearts thumping and blood pumping, I can see the desire in your eyes.

You grab me and kiss me and throw me down,
there is no mistaking the things you want right now.

Rip off my shirt, drag your nails down my chest. Over your head you pull that sexy black dress. 

You kiss down my body as you slide down my jeans
You stare with your bedroom eyes, longing to please. 

Straddling me as you throw back your head, breathing deeply and quietly moaning nails tear my back to shreds. 

I kiss your bouncing breasts as you slowly grind 
I slide my hands down and grope your behind.

Shaking and trembling, reaching your peak, 
breathing gets faster and turns into shrieks.

Arching your back through voiceless screams... 
down your body, your sweat starts to stream

You're out of breath....

...The little death.

Fool

When your head tells you it shouldn't hurt, though your heart say it
does. Do you just your head, or your heart?
Am I the only one who sees it that way. It's not much, just enough for
me to think twice. I don't want to analyse it, because it'll only
worry me more.
Will they think you're stupid? Probably.
But at least it's out there.
A person that asks is a fool at first, a per that doesn't is a fool
forever... What kind of fool are you?

Red Nail Relief

She lives in a world,
Where everything she does is wrong,
Where she opens her mouth and says something erroneous,
She open her eyes and see something she isn't suppose to.
She opens her ears and hear things she doesn't want to hear.
She touches what she shouldn't
She walks where she shouldn't
So she sits in her shell and hides
Hiding everything through fear.
Afraid to do anything because it WILL be wrong. She can't handle much
more. She scratches at her wrists with her red painted fingernails,
even that minor pain relieves her...
It won't take much to push her over the edge...

You make me Smile! :-)

I remember the first time I saw you, in the kitchen at my cousins.
I remember the first time we kissed, in the front courtyard at your
place.
I remember the first time we fell asleep together, naked on the sofabed.
I remember the time we kissed, the first Friday after I moved here.
I remember the first time we slept together, the Saturday that followed.
The first shower together,
The movies on the couch,
The sneaking in the night, just so we could see each other.
The feeling of not knowing weather or not you'd be mine,
The feeling when you told me you wanted to be with me,
The feeling when you told me you loved me.

Every moment i have spent with you is a moment I will never forget.
Any every moment that isn't yet, soon will be.
These memories get me through each day,
These memories make me smile.
You make me smile.
I love you! Xoxo

Little Do You Know

Little do you know,

that you saved me from what would have been my end,

Little do you know,

That you pulled me back away from the edge.

Little do you know,

How far I would of gone to be by your side,

Little do you know,

How much it hurt to watch you walk on by.

Little did you know,

That I loved you,

and Little did you know,

That I cried.

Little do you know,

You are my miracle,

Little do you know,

How much I need you, my angel.

 

Little did I know…

Little did I know…

Little did I know that you were there.

By Your Side

When the world doesn't see you for what you are, when the world forces
you to hide yourself, when you feel
Like crawling into a corner and curling up, when you think you can't
handle it anymore... Take my hand, I'll guide you through the dark
days back onto the light... Blindly take each step forward. I will
never let you go.

"I will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever, I'll be
there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven"

Forever we will walk alone, together.
Dark or light, I'm by your side.
Holding your hand.... I won't let go.

Lyrics taken from "Your Guardian Angel" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

The Puzzle

Rip, rip, rip
Tear, tear, tear
Slowly the tiny pieces fall to the ground
So small we don't even realise it's falling apart.
So small that even if we did know, we couldn't regather them.
The longer the pieces fall, the bigger they get
The more noticable they become.
Before we no it they become too large to pick up.
And the small pieces that used to hold them together,
Were gone long ago.
No matter how big a puzzle is, it's never complete without the
smallest piece.
Do you have all you pieces?

Fragile

Today is one of those days for me,
You know the ones I'm talking about,
The days you feel so weak, so helpless,
Where you just want to crawl back into bed in your fragile state of
mind.
Because you are afraid that people will break through the barrier today.
Afraid that maybe today just isn't your day.
We all have these days, when you feel like any conflict is going to
make you cry.
It's nobodys fault, and nothing has happened to make you feel this
way. It's just the way today is meant to be I guess.
We just have to step lightly, not say to much and just keep to
ourselves. If we stay out if the way of others then we should be fine,
we should make it through the next 24 hours.
Today isn't my day, maybe it isn't yours either.
But there will always be a tomorrow, we will live to fight another day.

Butterflies

As the tables turn and the melodies ring out; our hearts play and
dance and beat in time, floating free like butterflies lingering in
the summer's evening breeze. It's these care free moments that shape
our happiness and forge that smile upon our face, a smile so strong we
couldn't fake a frown if we wanted to. We wouldn't dare be different
from ourselves, absorbed into our own little world. Laughing at
laughter, smirking at smiles. Being silly, just because we can.
Perfectly harmless and happy... Uncomplicated... Simple, the way life
should be. Its these moments that will become our greatest memories.
No matter where life will take us, we will look back and smile. These
memories have shaped me. Let your heart and soul take you on a wayward
journey.... Take the path less travelled...be that someone
different... Be that butterfly in the breeze.

That's Okay

3 words, I “Something” You, it seems saying these three words is harder than finding that “something”. We all know what that “something” is…Love.
See, that wasn’t so difficult, was it?
I know you don’t love me, that’s okay,
I know you love him, and that’s okay too.
I’ll still chase you like a lovesick puppy.
We’ll have our fun, like we have been.

I love how we can be when we are with each other. And even though it may mean nothing to you, it means the world to me.
I love the way you look at me
I love the way you always smile
I love the way you wrap your arms around me
I love the way your hands find mine even in the dark
I love the way you kiss me, on my lips and on my neck
I love the few mornings I get to wake up beside you
I love the way you let me be myself when I’m with you
I love the way we can plan our fake wedding, covering every detail.
I love everything about you. I won’t lie; I want you to be mine.

It’s never going to happen, but that’s okay.
People think I’m stupid, they try warning me not to get to attached because it could end in heartbreak. That’s true, and probably right, but doesn’t everything end in heartbreak. At the moment I’m happy. Why ruin that?
Sure the day will come that you will move on, but that’s okay.
I think I’m prepared for that, doesn’t mean I’m giving up on you though.
Maybe one day it’ll happen, but if it doesn’t, that’s okay.
One day you might hear me say those 3 words, you might run, you might not and maybe you might just say them back; I don’t know, but that’s okay.
I’m happy now, thanks to you.
People don’t approve of us, but as long as I have you, I’ll be okay.

Run or Stay?

Half of me is saying run, the other half is saying stay. Run and
forget? Or stay and hurt? It shouldn't be a hard decision, but it is.
You've got my head in a spin girl. You know I want you, I know you
don't want me. Why is it a hard decision? How much punishment am I
going to put myself through before I learn? I would do anything and
everything, but still get nothing. The worst thing is knowing exactly
what the outcome will be. I'm in too deep to pull myself out. I'm only
opening myself up to get hurt again, shattered again. Question is...
how much can you take, before it breaks you..?

Help!

I'm afraid to live this life sober, without the alcoholic silhouette
the world would be much colder. I look through these jealous eyes, and
see a happier you without me by your side. Trying to paint a new
picture, that will only be tarred with the same brush like those who
have gone before. I can't stand the pain, but I can't be the real me
without it. I can't hide it! Screaming to fade away, into the shadows
where I'll never have to be seen. We were never warned, never helped,
just left to suffer, expected to learn from mistakes that we haven't
made yet. Told to keep holding on by people who have already let go.
When we finally figure out what not to do, it's too late. We have
already ran our course... Our fate of failure. We all want it, we all
need it, but we are all to afraid to ask for it... HELP!

Promises

I can't promise you the world,
I can't promise you I'll be rich,
I can't promise that I'll always say the right things,
I can't promise that I'll always get it right,
I can't promise you diamonds or gold,
I can't promise to take you nice places,
I can't promise I'll never hurt you,
I can't promise that I won't make you cry.

I promise that I will try,
I promise that I'll tell you that you're gorgeous everyday, because
you are everyday.
I promise to be by your side no matter what.
I promise I will do all in my power to see you smile everyday.
I promise to pick you up when you fall,
I promise that for as long as you're willing to have me, I want to be
yours.
This I promise...

Rain On Me

I wish it would rain. For 40 days and nights. I would not need an ark
or shelter. I want this storm to wash everything away. So I can start
again. The memories, the pain, the thoughts, the scars and the words
I've heard. Drown them all. Let me rebuild, let me start from scratch.
Deafen me with the thunder, blind me with lightning and strike me down
with your tsunami. I want to forget this world I live in, if you can
call it living. Leave me with nothing, nothing but puddles of hope.
Rid me of all emotion. I want to forget how to love, how to hurt, how
to cry. Is it to much to ask? Let me start again. Clean slate, empty
script. No memories of the past, no visions of the future. Just show
me the new present. They say drowning is peaceful... Let me go
peacefully today. Rebirth me into a new world tomorrow, with no
recollection of where I have been...
That's where I want to be there... Now.

Breaking's what the heart is for

I wish I could be one of those people that have never experienced pain
or heartbreak. Would make life a whole lot easier. Or maybe just take
out my heart completely. Imagine that, if we didn't need it to live. I
hate the fact that I want something so far out of my reach. With not a
hope of touching it or even coming close for that matter. The
stitching on my heart is wearing thin, It won't take much more for it
to snap. I will then be left with 1000 pieces.... Again. Fuck I hate
myself for putting me in this spot. I hate it... If the wounds were
any deeper they'd penetrate the other side of me. The worst thing is
that I know I can stop if I want to... But I won't. I once was told
that if you want something bad enough you will get it. Whoever started
that obviously got everything they wished for, and to them I say fuck
you. Step into my shoes for once. Try being dragged along the concrete
at 1000 miles an hour...try not getting anything you want... You do
that then you can pull out all the analogies you want. I hope there is
such thing as genies and shooting stars... Because I need a wish right
now.

Little Death

Push me against your front door, grab my head and pull yourself in to
me. Bite my lip, taste my tongue while you fumble for your keys. Slam
the door, coats to the floor, hearts pumping, blood rushing.
Grab me, throw me down. I can see the desire in your eyes.
There is no mistaking the things you want right now.
Rip apart my shirt, drag your nails down my chest. Pull that sexy red
dress off over you head. Kiss down my body, blue eyes staring up at me.
Pull of my belt, tear down my jeans. Me sitting you straddle. Deep
breathes, quiet moans... Pull my hair... Tear my back to shreds.
Shaking and trembling, breathing turns to screams... Bouncing breasts
as you grind. My hands on your behind.
Arched back, silent screams... Out of breath... The little death.

Murdering Love

You're painful, you hurt.
Its like you're holding a knife in front of you, each time we get closer, the knife sinks deeper into my heart, The closer you get the more it hurts, but the more it hurts, the more I want...
The wound gets deeper. Then you pull away, pull out the knife. Leaving me with blood-covered hands, holding a needle and thread, trying to stitch the pieces back together.

Midnight Musing

I hate the quiet
It allows me to think
I hate thinking, hurts too much
Some nights in winter, I turn on the air conditioner
Just so there is a familiar noise so I can fall asleep.

I love the cold
It gives me an excuse to hide
I can lock myself in my room for hours. Just to keep warm
I can’t sleep unless it’s cold. I don’t know why
I guess its just a mental thing, or maybe not.

I like Alcohol
It allows me to relax
Not think too much about the real world
I probably drink too much, but only because I can’t bring myself to smoke
That’s nothing against smokers; I know how relieving it can be.

I hate being alone
It scares me to death
Is loneliness a life sentence? Is there an end to it?
Trying to reach out for something that isn’t really there
We sit and hope that one day there will be someone at the end of our outstretched arms.

I love the dark,
Not being able to see used to scare me
I guess because I couldn’t see what was coming.
But now that I think about it, I’d rather not know what the world had planned for me.
I think it’s better being in the dark. After all, what you don’t know won’t hurt you.

Life No More (Version 2)

As the darkness falls all around you, and your tears run black as the night,
You have run out of shoulders to cry on, you know it’s the night you’ll say goodbye.
The bruises have never been so painful; the cuts have never been so deep.
Lay your head down in relief, and bleed into the deepest sleep.

Room once filled with hopes and dreams, all to long ago it seems, now
Bloody sheets of misery, razor blades and memories. Broken glass on the floor a tissue box that helps no more.
A broken heart that burns with pain, drowning in mascara rain.

Deafened by her own silent screams, a precious life atrophy
A river black from eyes to cheek, she’s nothing left, a heart so weak.
Wounds reopened, Crimson Red, pages unturned and words unsaid.
An excruciating ecstasy, yet a picture perfect catastrophe.

Blood fingerprints on the life she tore, her life that was, but is no more.