Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Run or Stay?

Half of me is saying run, the other half is saying stay. Run and
forget? Or stay and hurt? It shouldn't be a hard decision, but it is.
You've got my head in a spin girl. You know I want you, I know you
don't want me. Why is it a hard decision? How much punishment am I
going to put myself through before I learn? I would do anything and
everything, but still get nothing. The worst thing is knowing exactly
what the outcome will be. I'm in too deep to pull myself out. I'm only
opening myself up to get hurt again, shattered again. Question is...
how much can you take, before it breaks you..?

Monday, June 28, 2010


I'm afraid to live this life sober, without the alcoholic silhouette
the world would be much colder. I look through these jealous eyes, and
see a happier you without me by your side. Trying to paint a new
picture, that will only be tarred with the same brush like those who
have gone before. I can't stand the pain, but I can't be the real me
without it. I can't hide it! Screaming to fade away, into the shadows
where I'll never have to be seen. We were never warned, never helped,
just left to suffer, expected to learn from mistakes that we haven't
made yet. Told to keep holding on by people who have already let go.
When we finally figure out what not to do, it's too late. We have
already ran our course... Our fate of failure. We all want it, we all
need it, but we are all to afraid to ask for it... HELP!

Saturday, June 26, 2010


I can't promise you the world,
I can't promise you I'll be rich,
I can't promise that I'll always say the right things,
I can't promise that I'll always get it right,
I can't promise you diamonds or gold,
I can't promise to take you nice places,
I can't promise I'll never hurt you,
I can't promise that I won't make you cry.

I promise that I will try,
I promise that I'll tell you that you're gorgeous everyday, because
you are everyday.
I promise to be by your side no matter what.
I promise I will do all in my power to see you smile everyday.
I promise to pick you up when you fall,
I promise that for as long as you're willing to have me, I want to be
This I promise...

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Rain On Me

I wish it would rain. For 40 days and nights. I would not need an ark
or shelter. I want this storm to wash everything away. So I can start
again. The memories, the pain, the thoughts, the scars and the words
I've heard. Drown them all. Let me rebuild, let me start from scratch.
Deafen me with the thunder, blind me with lightning and strike me down
with your tsunami. I want to forget this world I live in, if you can
call it living. Leave me with nothing, nothing but puddles of hope.
Rid me of all emotion. I want to forget how to love, how to hurt, how
to cry. Is it to much to ask? Let me start again. Clean slate, empty
script. No memories of the past, no visions of the future. Just show
me the new present. They say drowning is peaceful... Let me go
peacefully today. Rebirth me into a new world tomorrow, with no
recollection of where I have been...
That's where I want to be there... Now.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Breaking's what the heart is for

I wish I could be one of those people that have never experienced pain
or heartbreak. Would make life a whole lot easier. Or maybe just take
out my heart completely. Imagine that, if we didn't need it to live. I
hate the fact that I want something so far out of my reach. With not a
hope of touching it or even coming close for that matter. The
stitching on my heart is wearing thin, It won't take much more for it
to snap. I will then be left with 1000 pieces.... Again. Fuck I hate
myself for putting me in this spot. I hate it... If the wounds were
any deeper they'd penetrate the other side of me. The worst thing is
that I know I can stop if I want to... But I won't. I once was told
that if you want something bad enough you will get it. Whoever started
that obviously got everything they wished for, and to them I say fuck
you. Step into my shoes for once. Try being dragged along the concrete
at 1000 miles an hour...try not getting anything you want... You do
that then you can pull out all the analogies you want. I hope there is
such thing as genies and shooting stars... Because I need a wish right

Monday, June 7, 2010

Little Death

Push me against your front door, grab my head and pull yourself in to
me. Bite my lip, taste my tongue while you fumble for your keys. Slam
the door, coats to the floor, hearts pumping, blood rushing.
Grab me, throw me down. I can see the desire in your eyes.
There is no mistaking the things you want right now.
Rip apart my shirt, drag your nails down my chest. Pull that sexy red
dress off over you head. Kiss down my body, blue eyes staring up at me.
Pull of my belt, tear down my jeans. Me sitting you straddle. Deep
breathes, quiet moans... Pull my hair... Tear my back to shreds.
Shaking and trembling, breathing turns to screams... Bouncing breasts
as you grind. My hands on your behind.
Arched back, silent screams... Out of breath... The little death.